Archive for Rio

Little lessons make big differences

Posted in Makin' moves, Tiempo en el sur, Waxing Idiotic with tags , , on October 15, 2014 by robdc

How to blend in in a South American airport:

1. Erase any idea of urgency or the fact that anyone on earth has to be any place at any specific time. If you’ve ever had to be anywhere, forget what that felt like.

2. Make sudden erratic vector changes as you walk, constantly. Sometimes you may even want to stop and walk in the direction you just came from, almost like you forgot why you got out of bed that day.

3. Do you have kids? awesome, bring them, ALL OF THEM. Do you have nieces and nephews? Bring them along too! Hell, just pick some kids up off the street, it looks like that’s what everyone here does. Apparently they make great travel accessories.

4. Carry obscenely large luggage and plenty of it. Everyone here is carrying bags so large that they border on the ridiculous, 2 or three bodies could easily fit in each bag. It looks like the same effect as when a really large person picks up one of those tiny beers and it makes them look like even bigger giants but in this case the people are the tiny beers.

5. Let the larger your party and the more luggage you have both effect the speed at which you do anything inversely, so if you have 11 kids and 25 human sized bags, a snails pace is the accurate speed to shoot for.

OK, now that I got that out… We have landed in Rio! The beach is beautiful and the beach town feel is very much lingering in the air.

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We spent the first morning talking about different stuff we had read or heard about how to move through this city without problems. Places not to go, what not to wear and how not to get gotten.

Much to Dave’s delight, immediately after this long and drawn out conversation as we are walking down the beach something hits my foot, it’s a cartoony green goo. It looked like ectoplasm. Knowing that no earthly bird secretes anything like this and the perfectly clear and bird-less sky immediately above me, I kept walking but asked Dave “did you happen to see where that came from?” to which he replies “I did, just keep walking.” So I did and then through a combination of hand signals and quick looks we were both very much aware of the man who was tracking us. He had expertly squirted this gunk on my show then waited for me to flip out about it, at which point he would conveniently come out of the crowd, brush and gunk antidote in hand. Unfortunately for him, no flip out came. We just kept walking and he kept tracking. Then, thinking that I hadn’t seen it yet, he comes out of the crow and points at my foot saying “aw, look at what the birds did, need some help?” Brush and paper towels in hand. The idea is that I stop, he helps me get the crap off my shoe then the demands for money start. I kept going and he got nothing but anyone coming to Rio should be aware that this type of thing is lurking around every corner here.

While at a bar I left Dave alone for 2 minutes and in very Dave way, when I returned there was a new member to our party. The guy was nice enough and soon his wife joined us. Drinks were had and before too long we ended up making plans with them for the next day. Dinner and drinks with the Patels was a damn good time and we ran around Rio for the evening.

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The next day Dave and I headed up into the mountains to see Christ the redeemer overlooking the city. It had been pretty foggy but we took a chance anyway. After getting to the national park we paid for our tickets up to the top we were put on a bus, a girl in the back gets scolded for eating Doritos on the bus so she puts them away. half way up to the top, she has a mini rebellion about the food and chooses expulsion as her form of protest… She barfs all over the bus, not missing Dave or I’s legs… of course. Luckily everyone else manages to keep it together.

Finally we reach the top and it’s stunning… for a few seconds out of every minute when the clouds clear. We still managed to take in the whole scene and it was pretty breathtaking.

GOPR6059_tonemappedAll in all it has been an astonishing stay here in Rio and I can’t wait to run around here for the next few days.

Ceje lo,

Rob

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